This is the latest in an occasional series offering titles to artists.
I found a small boy in my hedge.
‘Hello, small boy,’ I said, ‘what are you doing in my hedge?’
He looked shifty but did not reply.
Then he was joined by another small boy who told me what was going on.
The boy was being pursued by a girl who wanted to kiss him.
Since he was only about five or seven (I’m not so good with ages)
this seemed unlikely, but it was true.
The girl duly arrived, and she was better prepared than he was.
Aren’t they always?
He was on foot but she was pursuing him by bike.
He didn’t stand a chance.
In my mind’s eye this is a Victorian narrative painting
with an element of idealised coyness about the characters,
the boy who spilled the beans not being in the picture.
I read that girls mature more rapidly than boys, which I readily believe.
I also read that those creatures whose young take longer to mature
are generally of greater intelligence.
Can we infer from this that boys are more intelligent than girls?
There follows a contentious opinion. The answer is yes – and no.
I think males are more extreme in every way so, yes, there may be more male geniuses,
but observation leads me to believe that there are definitely more male idiots too.